By the time you read this, I will be jet-setting my way to Edinburgh for my first Age-Group Wedding.
What do I mean by Age-Group Wedding?
I'm glad you asked! Allow me to explain...
What I mean by an Age-Group Wedding (this is probably not the technical term, but it's the one I'm using), is that it is a wedding between people who are the same age as me, would have been in my year at school. Naturally, this is a little trippy for me because yes, whilst I am engaged, I struggle to come to terms with the fact that I am actually now an adult and able to do things like get married. Having my peers do so means that what happened to me is not just an anomaly and we are all in fact getting older, and, by implication, should be more mature, responsible and generally normal (we're not).
Equally, I should be able to dress myself without accidentally making myself look like a human kingfisher (I can't); I should know better than to pick the spot the size of Mount Vesuvius on my forehead (I don't); and I really should be able to get the red wine stain out of the carpet instead of making it stain more and turn a funny colour (blue).
Where is the perfect skin I was promised? The sudden ability to do my hair properly in something other than pigtails? The neat handwriting that I was certain would appear immediately upon reaching adulthood?
Anyway, yes, this is my first Age-Group wedding, but fortunately this wedding will not bring quite the same level of weirdery that will come when my friends from high school start getting married, as the couple I met during my postgraduate study at University. I met them as functioning, put-together adults. (The wedding of my high school friend who used to bring his own hip flask of absinthe to restaurants will be another matter entirely, I'm sure)
Instead, what this will be is a chance to see a formal wedding done by people the same age as me, with enough time for me to tweak anything I've planning that will be stupid. Hopefully, this will allow me to see how things are done correctly, before I have a chance to make a monumental cock-up of it myself.
I know it sounds silly, but there are things I just don't know the logistics of, simply because having been to weddings previously, I was, as you'd naturally expect, considerably younger, and not at all interested in taking notes for "one day" because honestly, who does that when they're 19 anyway? I had other things to focus on. Mainly making sure that I intercepted any of the honey and garlic sausages that were on their way out of the kitchen before they could reach anyone else because good god they were yummy.
But now that I am in the midst of my own wedding planning (11 months on Monday, and also my birthday, I'll accept Amazon vouchers if you're feeling so inclined), there are things that boggle me. The church flower lady asked me what I wanted to do with the flowers. Apparently "make pretty look nice" isn't a helpful answer. So, church decorations, check. Additionally, seating plans vs escort cards - if you have a seating plan, why do you need escort cards? They seem to add an additional extra layer to convolute the previously simple task of finding your name on a list, and then finding the table that matched the list you were on. So, will we be escorted or just left to our own devices? Will they be doing menus? Will there be a guest book?
I know a lot of these questions seem banal, and could easily be googled but herein lies the issue: the majority of wedding advice sites out there are in the USA. This means that things which are normal for the USA are being promoted as THE ONLY WAY, even if they aren't common for the UK.
Par example - Open Bars vs Cash Bars.
If I have to see David Tutera's smug, orange little face one more time telling me that the worst crime you can commit is to ask your guests to pay for their own drinks I may put my foot through the computer monitor. In the USA, maybe open bars are the only conceivable option, but in the UK they really aren't. UK weddings last a lot longer than weddings in the US - the ceremony is usually around lunchtime, so having an open bar from 1:00pm to midnight would rapidly become extortionate, especially given the huge alcohol tax over here. What we DO do is provide welcome drinks when people arrive, and wine for the meal, and champagne for the toasts.
Bridesmaids first vs Bridesmaids second
In the USA, it seems to be that the bridesmaids precede the Bride down the aisle, accompanied by a groomsman. In the UK, all the men are already at the front, waiting patiently, and usually the bridesmaids follow behind the bride, so as to better check the train and veil etc. etc. They are less of the drumroll to the bride and more of the bridal support crew. Or the 'Sweeper Bus', like at a Marathon, picking up anyone that gets left behind midway down the aisle.
So yes, I'm excited to see a British wedding that will be working from roughly the same rulebook as me, and I know everything there will be immaculately put together, so I'm looking forward to the chance to see it done well and completed. They have fantastic taste, so it's going to be amazing.
These are just the bonus bits of course, I'm also CRAZY EXCITED to see my friends get married, and then party on down like a lunatic.
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