The first exact memory and documented evidence is when I went to Disney World in Florida, when I was 17. After a week of beautifully warm and sunny weather, suddenly the weather turned and my friends and I were dropped into a cold situation with unsuitable clothing. We did our best, raiding the stores for hoodies, but it was still freezing.
Towards the end of the day, I got a photograph of myself with Cinderella's castle, all lit up at night. The photoguy commented how lucky I was - the photo had been timed during the light colours switching, so I had a two-tone castle behind me.
I also had a two-tone face.
My cheeks were like emergency becons glaring out at the camera. "It's cold! Save us!"
"Oh well," I thought, "just shows how cold it was that day."
And I didn't think much more of it, for a little while.
But when I was at University, I started noticing that more and more in the photos that were being taken, I was suffering from two-tone face syndrome again. I resembled the rosy-cheeked apple-sellers from Dickens adaptations. "Alright my luverrr, how about some luvverly apples!"
It was not a sexy look.
I know what you're thinking - it's a comment I've heard a lot. "You just look healthy!"
But keep in mind that three of those photos were taken with makeup on (the top left is the only one that isn't) - this is through foundation, and, in the case of the photo on the bottom right, through the vivid green red-reducing primer cream applied liberally beneath my foundation, and powder over the top. Even that didn't work.
I began to despair. I assumed that I was just genetically unfortunate, cursed to forever resemble an extra from a Victorian market scene. If makeup wasn't even working to cover it, I didn't know what I could do, except only go out with a paper bag on my head, or become one of those people who demands that no photos be taken of them whatsoever on nights out, and thus I would fade into photographic obscurity and all historical records of my life would cease.
Nearly a year ago, however, I can across one of my friends on another blogging site mentioning that they had rosacea, and having never heard of it before I of course turned to our friend google. I got hit with lots of pictures like this:
(image from http://www.rosacea.org/)
(GHIRLANDAIO, Domenico An Old Man and His Grandson - currently on exhibition at the Louvre)
The more of the websites I read, the more I realised how closely the symptoms described matched my own. And the more I started to panic because they kept showing pictures of the noses.
From the NHS page on Rosacea:
"Rosacea is a common but poorly understood long-term (chronic) skin condition that mainly affects the face. Symptoms begin with episodes of flushing (when the skin turns red).
As rosacea progresses, other symptoms can develop such as:
- burning and stinging sensations
- permanent redness
- spots (papules and pustules)
- small blood vessels in the skin becoming visible
Thought the first - Papules and Pustules. Wow. I feel REALLY attractive right now.
Thought the second - That word 'permanent' right there? I don't like that word.
Thought the third - OH MY GOD MY NOSE.
Post-haste, I made an appointment with my doctor, and thus began the saga of getting treatment for my rosacea.
May 2012 - I went to see the doctor, and I was reassured that my skin wasn't thickening and my nose wasn't growing. I was given a leaflet, with more talk about 'papules and pustules', and also information about the treatment of skin growth on the nose. It would need to be "trimmed back". This is not provided on the NHS.
I also got referred to a skin camouflage clinic, which would give me access to prescription-strength camouflage makeup.
August 2012 - I finally managed to get an appointment with the camouflage service. The topical cream did absolutely nothing for the redness, but by this point I had started to notice things which triggered it, and could often feel my face heat up as the redness hit. Things which triggered it, included:
- Red wine
- Hot weather
- Cold weather
- Stressful situations
- Excitement
- Exercise
- Curry
All the leaflets and websites recommended avoiding things which caused it to flare up. I took the stance that if I couldn't avoid the things I DIDN'T like on that list ("I'm sorry I can't come to work today, the stress is making my face too red!"), then I was darned if I was avoiding the things I DID like. So the curry and red wine stayed put.
But my appointment went well, and I was given a template prescription for the makeup and sealing powder. I was told to give this in at my GP's, and they would be able to write a proper prescription without an appointment.
September 2012 - I got a call from my GP, saying that I will need to make an appointment as they apparently won't prescribe this makeup for rosacea. This is a different GP from the one who referred me to the clinic in the first place. Sadly, I also got hit with another mystery illness, and couldn't follow this up immediately.
November 2012 - Finally feeling better, I managed to make an appointment to discuss my face. This GP wanted to know who told me it was rosacea, and he thought it might be acne. He refused to prescribe me the makeup, and instead gave me a 6-week course of antibiotics to take. Over Christmas. Fabby.
January 2013 - I returned to the GP, and the antibiotics had had no effect. Almost immediately we start the appointment, he told me that it's definitely rosacea. And also that I shouldn't have been on those antibiotics in the first place. BUT he still refused to prescribe the makeup. Instead, I went home and he called his dermatologist friend. About an hour later he called me back - apparently my kind of rosacea is only treatable by LASER.
And, like 'nose trimming', lasers are also not available on the NHS.
Begrudgingly, he agreed to write the prescription, although he kept asking me what to write, which, given as he was the one with the medical degree, threw me a little.
Then they had to order the makeup in specially at the chemist. So I finally got it last week.
As the debacle progressed, I'd become more and more worried about my rosacea, and more aware of it. In terms of wedding thoughts, I really did not want to look all 'cheeky' in my wedding pictures, so in terms of that, getting this makeup had become a priority so I could get the hang of it in good time.
Lo! The results:
On the left - my cheek as normal. On the right? The effect of the camouflage makeup. The difference it made was shocking. It covered so much more completely and effectively than any makeup I'd tried - even the Clinique makeup designed for rosacea hadn't done such a good job. And it lasted all day.
To say I'm relieved is an understatement. Now I can look forward to actually having half a chance of looking like a normal human being on my wedding day. One less worry off the list!
